heights

Me, lately, and that feeling in your stomach just before jumping off somewhere really high.

I have that every day. It’s not the most comfortable feeling in the world. I’m leaving soon. So much excitement but also so much anxiety! In any case, I’m pretty sure there’s a life lesson here somewhere.

I am kind of tired of this “marketability” and internet image thing. It’s pretty stifling. I don’t want to act as if everything I have to post is supposed to sell myself and what I can do. I don’t want to think about pleasing everyone all the time. I have to go back to just doing what I want and writing about what I want (which sometimes involves writing about things I don’t want, like now!). Because really, looking back, that’s what got me all my little success stories anyway. ~Being myself~. Making things and writing about ideas even though no one’s watching, no one’s Liking anything. All this explains my irrational aversion to over-curated social media accounts and blogs. Stop selling me everything, internet.

What I am also tired of is being hard on myself. Moving on is inevitable and necessary. There are much bigger things outside of our little heads and issues that require our time and energy. #life

In other news not pertaining to emotions:

1. I am trying to draw everyday to take some pressure off. My friends and family have been so supportive you don’t even know.

2. I have to pack for more than one season, and it’s difficult for me, someone who has lived in the tropics all her life. I’ve been trying to come up with capsule wardrobes for the trip because I don’t want to be hauling a lot of unnecessary stuff on my own. I have no idea how Fall feels like, though.

3. I’ll post my Davao report reaaaaally soon! :D Hooray. I missed traveling so much huhu D::: I used to do it all the time before I got an office job. Always in the province almost every day, every week. Felt really good to be outdoors again! :)

Focus. That’s it. I need to take care of myself, do good, responsible work, and be kinder to friends and family. It’s time to grow up a liiiittle bit more.

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